Whether the words you choose for your wedding vows are traditional or contemporary, they are the ultimate gift to your new spouse. Vows help set the tone for your marriage and new life together, and therefore should be a priority when it comes to wedding planning.

Reverend Dee DePriest has officiated hundreds of weddings since becoming ordained in 2015, and comes to the table with a ceremony and set of vows that can be adapted and personalized by her couples. But before she even gets to that point, she wants to get to know her clients. “It’s fun to sit down with my couples, to see if we click or not,” she says. “We have a conversation and see if we are a good fit.” She adds that so far, every couple she has had an initial consultation with have ended up using her for their ceremony.

Having a trusted officiant can help make the legal and logistical side of the wedding less intimidating. “I’m their first line of defense, their first line of information,” DePriest says. “I know what they need to do from step one.” DePriest helps take the guesswork out of a newly engaged couples checklist, such as obtaining a wedding license, and deciding the tone of their ceremony.

The next step is to decide on what type of vows fit the relationship. “It’s the happiest moment, besides birth, that this couple is going to enjoy. I’ll help them through whatever they want.”

Couples have so many options these days on how to make their vows special, whether they choose a traditional tone, one that fits their religious beliefs, or a contemporary twist on old traditions. Whichever a couple decides to do, Revered DePriest has some well-learned advice:

1. Have a Backup Plan –  Work with your officiant to make sure that everyone is on the same page. If you want to write your own vows, have a back-up plan. “I always come with my ceremony prepared with vows, even if the couple says they want to write their own,” DePriest says. The days and weeks leading up to the wedding can be emotional and stressful, she adds. “Writing your vows can add a level of stress, and many of my couples back out at the last minute.” DePriest says that she has officiated weddings where the couples’ hand-written vows were lost minutes before the ceremony began.

{photo from Metropolitan Bride}

1. Make it Personal – There are so many ways to incorporate your faith and traditions in a modern wedding. DePriest loves helping couples figure out a set of vows that work best for them and their future together. “Weddings are more unique now,” she says, “and centered around what is good for that couple.”

1. Take Your Time – “Don’t wait until the last minute and you are under pressure,” DePriest says. If you are stuck on ideas, DePriest recommends to sit down and really think about what drew you to your spouse. “When you look at each other and your heart tugs, what that person does that nobody else on the planet can do…your partner really wants to hear that,” she says. “If you think about those kinds of things, the vows will flow easier.” She says to keep it simple and romantic.

1. Rehearse Rehearse Rehearse – Plan for a ceremony rehearsal before the wedding. “People are gun shy away from rehearsal, but you need rehearsal,” DePriest emphasizes. “It’s an added expense but worth it,” she adds, saying that it eliminates so much stress the day of the wedding.